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Monday, 24 December 2012

The Hobbit - A semi-unexpected experience



 Have you ever met with an old friend after many years, went out and
had a great time reminiscing about the good old days, while also
making plans for the future, making sure that it won't be another 10
years until you meet again.

This is how I felt yesterday (last week by now) revisiting Tolkien's Middle Earth in
Peter Jackson's "The hobbit", the old characters being now an integral
part of my life.

For those of you who have lived in a whole in the ground (see what I
did there) for the last 70 years, the Hobbit is the predecessor of the
LOTR trilogy. It's the story of how Bilbo met Gandalf, 13
dwarfs (with names as funny as equally easily forgettable) and how he
travelled to the east seeking Eremor. I will not go into further
details about the plot, read the book people!! Interestingly enough,
the book by itself does not provide enough material for 3 movies.
Especially for 3 three-hour long films. Jackson found a truly genius
way to get around that, he added bits and pieces from Tolkien's "The
Silmarilion" - the official how-it-all-begun bible of Middle Earth.
That is truly inspired and will have all Tolkienians drooling over
mentions of Ungoliath, Morgoth and Ballrogs. What's not so inspired is
the arbitrary expansion of screen time for characters from the book
that never had more than 2 lines of mention. I know this will not
affect the uninitiated at all, they may even find great, the fact that
we get to enjoy more of Radagast the Brown, but for me
and probably for all the hard-core fans of the book, it is equally
damaging and offending as having Elves in the battle of Helms Deep.

Speaking of pointy ears, the elves in this film have a small part,
mainly that of gay vegetarian musicians - Moby?! - that are so far up
their own asses, they could not be bothered to slay a few thousands of
Orcs and help the few thousands of dwarfs  to reclaim their ancestral
home. But what the fuck...they are elves, their robes are so pristine
and ironed, one would expect to see them on a fashion show, not in
battle!



The movie resembles the first part of LOTR in more than one aspect.
They both start of at a torturous slow pace and build up momentum as
they go along, all the way to the epic last confrontation/battle right
at the end. The one major difference between the LOTR saga and
The Hobbit trilogy is the picture quality. But what a difference it
is!!! The 1080p BRD version of LOTR was by in-itself a visual
masterpiece, even more when viewed on the proper TV screen. The 48fps
 3D version of The hobbit makes Avatar look Avatar-ded(sic!). In LOTR we had Moria, here we have the Goblin kingdom - and the Goblin King, personal favourite figure from Disciples II.

The Goblin kingdom sequence is also the one containing the most CGI rentered
scenes, truly testing the limits of the HFR technology. For me it failed to
deliver a clear image in comparison to analogue, propped stunt work VFX shots or
even compared to some 2D 24fps CGI action sequences - the "Matrix: Reloaded" freeway chase scene comes to mind. The camera movement is so fast, it creates motion blur and chopping, not to such extend mind you, to deem the whole thing unseable, but still quite irritating and confusing. I preferred the 2D Moria escape sequence, it was much more detailed, fluent and clear than this one here, still I will leave it up to you to decide. Bear in mind that HFR 3D technology is in baby steps here, hopefully by the 3rd instalment we will see some truly mind-blowing action sequences in all their 3D glory.

The main protagonists once again are the insanely beautiful NZ landscapes. That place is out of this world, I'm inclined to believe that Tolkien has travelled there before writing his books. I can't explain it differently; this furthermost south island IS Middle Earth - "Middgard" in the Norse mythology. And wait until you see it in HFR, you'll be picking your jaws up from the carpet.

Returning to the actual acting taking place by animated objects - eeh, I meant actors... - it is non-critical to any aspect of the film. Sir Ian MacKelen is the one outstanding character there - pun SOOOO intended - but the rest of the cast might as well been CGIs, would have drastically cut production costs. It is the same argument as with the 13 Oscars from LOTR:III, all the noise but nothing to say, not a single actor nomination. In Hobbit the argument is even easier justified, having the 13 out of the 15 main characters buried under a ton of prosthetics, hair and armour. THE HAIR...all the hair...I would not have thought that one man could have so much hair on him... Might as well have the Ewoks in Middle earth!!

Concluding this week’s movie rant - I will consider it a major victory over my procrastination if I deliver a review within 5 days of viewing  a movie - "The Hobbit - An unexpected journey" is an expected patchwork of ambition, vision, visual greatness and acting mediocrity. Like all the first steps into the unknown, be that a new continent, new filed of science, a new love or just a new technology, it takes courage, determination and above all an "I-don't-give-a-fuck" attitude towards criticism to take that step. Jackson's latest opus displays these qualities in spades, proving that the fire of adventure still burns bright and strong in us, even if we come out of the most orderly, secure and uninteresting hole in the ground. In the end "The Hobbit" is just a story about stepping out of your comfort zone and experiencing the world with all its aspects. Fuck the comfort zone, live your life!!

Saturday, 8 December 2012

Careful what you wish for…


…in this case you might get it but also ask for a refund. Yes, oh yes...I haz returned!! Like the original Dr. Who time for me has no meaning whatsoever. So, let us begin with what promises to be the first of many posts (if I don't get lost in an endless marathon of DIII/HL2/and-or WOW).

This post is about movies, on in particular but with another one crammed in there for good measure.


I saw TDKR last night [update: when I started writing this entry, it was September, I was in Greece and my life was far more complicated than now] and actually saw the last projection of the film; the multiplex will stop screening it today. It took me a while but I finally managed to see it before it disappears from cinemas and goes in the BRD queue.
Having waited for this for almost a year, following the news up to its release and witnessing the build-up for this film I got memory flashes from another similar build-up for a highly anticipated film, SW:Ep.1. Alas, the similarities don’t stop there.

I will try to present the TDKR review as a comparison between this movie and SW:Ep.1. If the comparison doesn’t add up, or you believe that it’s wrong/out of place/biased etc. feel free to bitch about it in the comments. This is my answer to your comments:



Both movies started their advertising build-up almost 1 year before release. Both movies were presented as the “movie-to-end-all-movies”, the biggest thing since, well...anything. Both movies faced technical challenges during or after production – Bane’s mumbled voice for TDKR was a major flaw in the initial trailer screening, SW:Ep.1 had to cope with it’s insane amount of VFX shots and digital camera shooting, forcing distributors to screen the movie only in few cinemas that actually had the technology to process the film, i.e IMAX.
Both movies were part of a trilogy, one being the final part and the other the opening act – to a coming disaster, but who could expect that. The fact that TDKR is the final instalment in a trilogy is obvious throughout the entire movie, mostly through the acting of its main characters – Bale, Cain and Oldman are playing as if they are so fed up with their characters that they can’t wait to get this over with and do something else. Hopefully, they will do something else and will forget about the embarrassment of this final act in TDK. Similar to SW:Ep. 1 Natalie Portman played as if she was on some sort of muscle paralyzer, throughout the whole film she had only one expression and that was: “What the hell is going on here? Who am I, what am I doing here?”
Having read the TDK comic series from Frank Miller, I was expecting something more for the movie adaptation, at least some involvement of Superman in there, some sort of mentioning of the “Judge Dredd” type of justice Batman decides to deliver in Gotham. I guess that Nolan found this too heavy for the audience and went on a different approach, fine, have it your way – TDK was one of the best films I’ve seen, but it had very little to do with the graphic novel. This approach was also adopted from Lucas on SW:Ep. 1. Instead of showing the birth of the most powerful and iconic villain in movie history as a dark and twisted process, he decided to make it a roller coaster ride in CGI Disneyland. The result was appalling to all SW fans, who wanted to see young Vader destroy entire cities with just a flick of his finger. Lucas tried to salvage Vader’s bad-ass image in Ep. II+III, albeit with so much over-the-top-and-out-of-place nonsense, that he made it even worse, culminating in the death of Padme FOR NO APPARENT FREAGIN REASON!!!


Going back to TDKR, the script was full of holes, gaps and absurd ad-hoc decisions (Why in the world would Bruce disavow Alfred just for one comment, even if that comment was so out of place! He’s the closest person he has to family and family is the drive behind the whole Batman character! That, and revenge of course). The problems with tracking the bomb are ridiculous, the convenient timer is laughable, no auto-pilot on a Bat-wing is just the icing to the cake of childish script errors. The overall feeling one gets from the script is of haste, of not putting the proper amount of will to make it better, more believable, tighter. To the script writer’s defence, this was not the worst script I have seen this year, the honour for that complete and utter train wreck goes to “Prometheus” – to which hopefully I will come back to in the future, if I can be bothered.

The few things I liked in TDKR were Christian Bale’s not-over-the-top acting, Anne Hathaway’s ass, Tom Hardy’s ultra-cool voice as Bane, the return of stunt based V FX and not so much CGI, Anne Hathaway’s ass on the Bat-bike, the Bat-wing. For a movie that concludes a great trilogy, it feels like a rip-off, so many inconsistencies in it, I truly believe that Nolan just wanted to go on to the next project.
I’ll leave you with this upcoming trailer of my Trek dose (MEDICINEEEEEE!!!!)